The Rules For Being Human

THE RULES FOR BEING HUMAN HANDED DOWN FROM ANCIENT SANSKRIT

1. YOU WILL RECEIVE A BODY

You may like it or not, but it will be yours for the entire period round.

2. YOU WILL LEARN LESSONS

You are enrolled in a full-time, informal school called life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant and stupid

3. THERE ARE NO MISTAKES, ONLY LESSONS

Growth is a process of trial and error, experimentation. The 'failed' experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately works.

4. A LESSON IS REPEATED UNTIL IT IS LEARNED

A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it, then you can go on the next lesson.

5. LEARNING LESSONS DOES NOT END

There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.

6. “THERE” IS NO BETTER THAN “HERE”

When your “there” has become “here”, you will simply obtain another “there” that will, again look better than here

7. OTHERS ARE MERELY MIRRORS OF YOU

You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.

8. WHAT YOU MAKE OF YOUR LIFE IS UP TO YOU

You have all the tools and resources you need, what you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

9. THE ANSWERS LIE INSIDE YOU

The answers to life’s questions lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen and trust.

Much love xxx

Get to know you, for the real you to shine through!

Are you at a crossroads? Are you struggling? Do you lack direction? Do you feel like there is more to life than the one you are currently living?

Many of us spend a huge portion of our lives working, and while some are in their dream jobs, many are not. Many people live in great discomfort, carrying that feeling that their soul feels a bit dead. Who wants to live like that when there’s an alternative?

If your spirit, your essence, is not in fitting with how you spend your time - in work or otherwise - then it is understandable that you might not be operating at your peak, or even feeling good at a basic level.

Who are you? What type of person are you? What could you introduce into your life to demonstrate it? Remember, you have to decide your role in life, play it, and play it well. Nobody else is supposed to do that for you.

If your closest friends and colleagues met and compared notes about you, would they feel like they were talking about the same person? We adapt to different circumstances, sure - most job descriptions demand awareness and flexibility. But when you’re continuously playing a whole different person at home or at work, you’re not being authentic to you.

So how much of you do you know? Self-knowledge is the key to it all. If you haven’t stopped to think about what in life has meaning for you, how can you ever plan a life that includes more of it?

Much love, Joanne xx

Finding Your North Star

One of the most important books that I have read in the past few years is Martha Becks “Finding Your Own North Star”. In it she talks about fear and change and finding your passion. I only wish I had this book during my marriage separation four years ago, four years that have been full of so many changes for me. I have been told so many times by so many people that I am brave, but believe me I have not felt brave. I kept making small decisions and big choices one at a time. Most of the time I did not feel courageous, I actually felt like a failure, but I kept going, not entertaining the thought for a second that I had another choice.

It was a huge shock to my system to leave Cork, my ex-husband, some wonderful friends and a lot of my regular work behind. It was what I had to do to take care of myself. I made the choice for me in order to heal, surround myself with family and friends and ultimately follow my purpose. I had often made decisions in the past based on what was better for other people but this time I had to put myself first.

Beck says that “Dante’s journey took him as low as a human being could sink, through his worst fears and most bitter truths, down to the very centre of the earth. And then, by continuing straight “downward” through the centre and beyond, he was suddenly headed up. Before him he could see “the beautiful things that Heaven bears,” things like purpose, fulfilment, excitement, compassion, and delight. He was still tired and scared, but he wasn’t sleepwalking, and he wasn’t lost. There was still a long road ahead of him, but it was the right road. And so, Dante wrote, “we came forth, and once more saw the stars.” Once you get that far, you’re on your way to Paradise.”

I did not believe at the time that things would ever get better but I was wrong. People lent me their hope when I did not have any for myself. Things have gotten so much better in many ways like having more available time for myself, my health, my family, my personal development and much less stress and financial pressure.

In her book, Beck says that “fear is the raw material from which courage is manufactured.” Maybe once I faced my fears, then I was given courage. I am not sure of the order of things, but I am glad I kept walking, just putting one foot in front of the other. I was lucky that many people supported me, kept me company and shone their light on days when I was in the dark. The process of starting again has been painful and indeed felt like being on a rollercoaster. I cannot say that it was easy but I can say that I worked really hard at it and it has been worth it.

Beck says that “an artist’s real contribution isn’t what she paints, but the way she sees.” I have been committed to rebuilding my life and to returning to the path of service to that I veered off of when I got married, albeit with many valuable life lessons on the way, however most of them I have no desire to revisit.

When I found my own North Star, I knew then where I was headed. That alone felt good. Plus my North Star feels vital, so finally aiming towards it brought more and more happiness and benefit to both myself and others. I can now dream bigger dreams and take more chances in life since if I lose my way, I’ve got a beacon to hone in on.

Everyday life was entangling for me in the past, I can absolutely see that now, hindsight is 20/20 vision and all that. It was so easy to get caught up in work routines and marital obligations that gradually overtook the course of my own life and happiness. It may have looked and felt goal-directed – make breakfast, go to work, return home, make dinner, go to bed, repeat the next day - but I guess I knew deep inside that there was no purpose to it, no fundamental aim that gave clarity, meaning and richness. Then life began to feel hollow, more about getting through than getting to, more survival than thriving.

From here on, the course of my life will be aimed at my own North Star and while I have no control of the details or the outcome, what I do know is that it is my mission and purpose to help many other people find theirs too.

With much love, Jo xxx

21 Rules for 2021

Anyone else fancy re-starting 2021 today??!

Here's my 21 Rules for 2021:

1. Be direct and be honest. Be the one that says what needs to be said.

2. Love insanely. Let it all out into the open. You don’t have time to hold back any longer.

3. Make yourself strong. Physically strong, Emotionally strong, Mentally strong, Spiritually strong.

4. Practice detachment and letting go. Create space for your new life to emerge.

5. Allow things to unfold naturally without forcing anything.

6. Express yourself. Be more real. Be more raw. Be more open. Be more badass. Be more you.

7. Let death be all the motivation you need to do anything you want to do. The clock is ticking faster than ever.

8. Don’t be surprised when things work out far better than you could have imagined.

9. Give as much freedom to others as you can stand, then give them more. Let them have their opinion and just keep loving them with everything you’ve got.

10. Do not allow your mind to take the wheel. Steer with your heart.

11. Make personal development your top priority and watch how quickly your life changes for the better.

12. Be the person in the room that laughs and smiles the most, showing others how to brush off the madness of the world.

13. Conserve your energy until it is time to move, then do so with gusto.

14. Stay close to the things you can control and distance yourself from those things which you cannot.

15. Teach everything you’ve learned so far. Participate fully in the growth of others.

16. Create relationships, fix relationships, find common ground, build bridges, and be there for others.

17. Learn to observe the world and the people around you, not absorb what is going on.

18. Rewrite your own rules as often as you need, the goal is maximum ease and minimum stress.

19. Let yourself cry, scream or whatever is needed in order to make sure you express your negative emotions; you are a conduit, not a reservoir.

20. Practice, Practice, Practice. Engage in your own practice every single day. Cultivate your inner peace and strength.

21. Maintain the highest possible energy vibration you can and make a point of it being infectious to others.

Much love xxx

Thankful for the gifts of 2020!

Hello Beautiful Soul. I know I'm not the only one sensing a big difference in Thanksgiving this year, with all the restrictions and challenges we're all still facing. But hidden in between the hard times this year has brought, are priceless gifts we can be thankful for. Just like when we’re building muscular strength, growth in life can hurt. But what results from that pain can be life-changing.

When everything around us falls apart, the gifts hidden in the rubble become beautifully apparent. When the dust settles, we’re able to see the pieces more clearly, allowing us choose which pieces to pick back up - the ones that serve our highest good - and which to leave behind.

Not only does this allow us to rid ourselves of ideas, energy, habits and people that aren't good for us, it also gifts us clarity into what matters most. And that might very well be the most valuable gift of 2020. We’ve had countless moments this year when we’ve felt disappointment, but beneath the dust of all the chaos, what has shone through is a strength more powerful than we knew was inside us. So while 2020 continues to throw challenges our way, we're learning something immensely valuable: not only can we handle the challenges, we can thrive in spite of them.  

My Thanksgiving looks very different this year. My heart is sad that I can’t share a table with the people I love. But I'm thankful for technology that allows us to still make memories together. I’m thankful for the gifts I’ve unburied in the rubble this year. And I am thankful for you.

Happy Thanksgiving my friend. Jo xxx

20/20 Vision

The words “20/20 Vision” have been popping into my head over and over again for the past few months. Oftentimes when we are going through something, we can't truly see it for what it is, but in highsight it all becomes perfectly clear. Looking back on certain circumstances in my life, I can now see where I've veered off course, or indeed chosen to ignore the various warning signs. However, I have chosen to forgive myself for past mistakes as I know that I did the best that I could with the knowledge that I had at the time. As Maya Angelou said “Do the best that you can until you know better, then when you know better, do better”.

From the moment we were quarantined, I had no choice but to slow down. This was challenging as I'm so used to the rush of adrenaline that comes from moving from one project to the next, checking things off the to-do list and coming up for air only when absolutely necessary. But in hindsight, it’s clear that in this slowing down, it allowed the people and things that truly matter to quietly rise to the surface.

At this halfway point through a year packed with so many curveballs and challenges, it can be overwhelming to look back, and it certainly feels challenging to see the hidden gifts when we’re in the midst of so much turmoil, grief and loss. One of the major gifts in this year for me has been the realisation that so much of what I thought was important, really isn't. What has been so clear for me is that my family, close friends and good physical, emotional and mental health are all that really matters. That is where I plan to put all of my focus moving forward.

So before I rush to put 2020 in the rearview mirror, I plan to take the last half of the year to honour what we’ve learned in the first half and integrate it into the life that I truly want to live, to step into the best version of myself, both for myself and for those in my life that know and value the gift of love and connection.

There is an inherent gift in the clarity of hindsight. This year in all of it's pain and discomfort, offered me a gift that I didn't realise that I desperately needed, the gift of “20/20 Vision”, the clarity to discern what really matters most.